Do Doulas replace Dads?
No Way! A doula can never replace the father’s role! A doula can help provide support to the father, enabling him to concentrate on the mother. The father knows more about the mother’s personality, preferences, and needs than the doula, plus he loves the mother—so his involvement is essential.
A doula compliments and strengthens the father’s role. A doula may give him suggestions and ideas, finding ways for him to help that are comfortable for him and are soothing to the mother.
A doula can bring the couple closer, by making sure that the father’s needs are met (food, drink, reassurance, a neck rub, or even just a quick check-in). This allows the mother and father to work more in sync together.
A doula can help preserve a peaceful, private environment for the laboring couple, freeing the father to focus on the mother and the event. If family and friends are attending the birth, the doula can organize the group so everyone has a small task to perform, or run interference if a family member becomes anxious or obtrusive.
The father’s presence and loving support in birth is comforting and reassuring. The love he shares with the mother and his child and his need to nurture and protect his family are priceless gifts that only he can provide. When both the father and a doula are part of a birth, the mother can have the best of both worlds—her partner’s loving care and attention, and the doula’s expertise and guidance—giving the mother the best chance of the birth she dreams of.
References for this page: Dads and Doulas: A DONA International Birth Doula Topic Sheet; Dads and Doulas: Key Players on Mother’s Labor Support Team